humbling thoughts

Dearest Persons,

Today I felt truly humbled and decided that I needed to go through all that I posted yesterday and edit it as many of the things I wrote were negative and my homestay experience was not a negative one. I realized something today about Jesus and I want to learn to reflect that of him.

I was thinking back through this week and decided yesterday that this past week was the most frustrating and emotionally exhausting second only to the two weeks my little sister Anna was in the hospital with e-coli and almost died. Our speaker this morning, a pastor in the area, was talking about how Muslims embrace Jesus and that Francis of Assisi's words ring out loud and clear today and that we need to begin to embody them into practice. He said,

"Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words."

Our speaker challenged us that especially with Muslims it is often NOT necessary to use words. And then he shared the story with us of Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus was a tax collector, and he exploited the people , he was wealthy, and when Jesus came to town there were all of these factors at play (along with the fact that he was short and it was crowded) that kept him from seeing Jesus. So he climbs up into this tree, hoping to get a glimpse of Jesus and what does Jesus do? He looks up and invites himself over for dinner. Jesus became a guest in Zacchaeus's home and this transformed Zacchaeus' life!

What about Jesus most changed Zacchaeus and urged Zac to give up everything and embrace this Jesus? Our speaker suggested that it was Jesus simply allowing himself to be humble, to be the "guest" not the host, and in doing so Zacchaeus felt more love than he ever had before.

I thought back over this idea of being a "guest" and realized that the two weeks most difficult for me in my life thus far were the only 2 weeks that I can remember being a "guest". Those two weeks Anna was in the hospital I struggled so much with the amount people were giving to me. People brought us lasagna, people helped do laundry, Holly Batton cleaned our refrigerator with me (that was RAUNCHY!), people like Chris and Twyla opened their homes to us, Mom and Dad were constantly giving me money when I KNEW that they had none. And I remember many times breaking down and crying, refusing to take anymore, wanting to be able to give back and I remember Mom taking me aside and hugging me and telling me that not only was it ok to receive, but that I needed to do so joyfully. Even when I knew Anna was going to be alright, my stomach still hurt when people blessed me, but yet I tried to shift my attitude and have a joyful heart. This week has been so much like that experience for me. My family welcomed me with outstretched arms. They fed me so much, more than they fed themselves and I am confident that they sacrificed of themselves in order to do so. They took time to spend just sitting with me and helping me learn Arabic. They took me shopping and gave me earrings and these weird pickled-nut things. They gave me 3 skirts and they wear the same clothes every day! Every part about my experience was so humbling. Oh, and then, they took me to their family's home and they gave me a vase slash candle holder. They have nothing and yet they give.

How can I show Christ? How can I embody his lifestyle of allowing others to be honored by his presence in their lives as a guest? I remember the song my Grandma used to sing when I was little,

Behold, behold, I stand at the door and knock knock knock
Behold, behold, I stand at the door and knock knock knock
If anyone hears my voice, If anyone hears my voice,
And will open, open, open the door
I will come in.

Jesus is a guest in my heart and he WANTS to be a guest!
Being a guest in someone's home is frustrating, it's difficult, it's humbling, yet it's an opprotunity to show Christ's love in just being grateful to receive. I don't want to go back to my homestay's house, I don't want to go back to those weeks where Anna was in Columbus, yet at the same time I do. I want another opportunity to embody the attitude of Christ as a guest. I want to do a better job of being a guest... joyfully! I never thought about the story of Zacchaeus like this before, but it is so relevant in this Middle Eastern Culture. Therefore, I am going to go through the previous post later on as I have time and post as a grateful guest would and not as a frustrated Kara would.

In His Mighty Awesome Grace and Grip,
Your Kara Joy