I WANT TO GO TO AFRICA!!!
oh wait... I'm in Africa! :)
Dearest Persons,
I just really needed to take a break from Arabic and publicly state this burning desire within me... and it's nothing new or different, really it's not. I WANT TO GO TO ZIMBABWE!!! :) Did you know that? I'm sitting next to Christina and listening to a children's choir from Uganda and I'm asking myself "Why didn't I go to Uganda this semester? What am I doing here?" Ok, so I think I may be scaring you and sound rather drastic and impulsive and yes, I really do feel like God has called me to do missions work in the Social Work Field within the United States, but I am continuously in inner turmoil over this whole thing. I watched a movie about Uganda the other day and I've been watching the news in Southern Africa and my heart is just breaking for the people of the Sub-Saharan Africa and the injustice that is there and has been there. Friends, I've always wanted to go to Africa, I've always wanted to carry a huge basket on my head like African women and work in a village with people and spread the love of Christ, and I am really just struggling with my call and why I have a desire to go to a place like this and how I landed here and what God is calling me to do with my life.
When I was home over break I had a short conversation with Mom where I was just freaking out about graduating and where I was going to live and work and how I was going to support myself and Mom was like "Woah, Kara Joy... slow down!! You have time and you need to learn to trust God in this." I agree, yet at the same time... I have finals this week, travel for a month, come back write 5 essays and I'm done. I'm done with being a junior. That's freaking me out. I'm basically a senior after I finish my Arabic Final Wednesday. And that means that real, hard life is just around the corner. And so I've just been thinking about life alot and where I will go and what I will do. It's really exciting, but I'm a bit nervous too and am starting to get that senioritis "I JUST WANT TO KNOW!" feeling.
Most of my friends here are working on changing their plane tickets and staying in the Middle East longer in order to travel more and learn more about this region. I can't do this... I have to get back to ONU for a final and for work this summer with Ministry Teams, but I can not even begin to describe to you how much I just want to jump on a plane at the end of April and go to Africa... which is so funny and ironic because I am SITTING in Africa right now!! :) I'm crazy.
This semester is not in vain. I don't want you to think that as you read this that I'm regretting coming to the Middle East, because I am not! I would miss so much learning if I had gone to Uganda with Jessie.... but Africa is being so embedded in my heart and I'm not really sure what to do with all these feelings that I have and so I just wanted to vent and put it out there.
Ok... so yeah... I want to go to real Africa. :) Haa... so funny... I am IN real Africa!
Trying to Trust in His Mighty Grip,
Your Kara Joy
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2 comments:
I have gotten a little behind on your blog... will be catching up soon but wanted to wish you a happiest birthday! I am so glad you were born and I love you oceans! You have amde my life better by being in it. LOVE and LOVE and LOVE from Ohio,
Kelly P
Hey Kara,
I just wanted to throw in a quick "second" to what your mom told you (hi Twyla!), because (as moms often are) she's right. You have SO MUCH TIME! Relax and enjoy the journey. I think we tend to fall into the trap that says life is high school, college, then the job you'll do until retirement. SO NOT TRUE! You might finish school and find a job that you love, and do it until you're 65. Or like me, you might kinda float around, trying things, seeing what you like and don't like, giving God lots of opportunity to steer you wherever he chooses. So seriously, whatever the plan for your life is, God already knows. And when it's time, He will share the next step with you. But remember, His ways are not our ways. I know this lesson well, because I have to re-learn it each and every time my life takes a new turn.
God sure isn't predictable, but he is faithful.
Don't worry. You're seeking God and he won't let you down. Hold on to that when life gets messy.
Love, Leslie F
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